“I seem to have loved you….in numberless forms,
in numberless times…in life after life, in age after age,
“My brave butterfly…your body may have died but your fighting spirit will forever be a part of me.
For as I carried you in my womb through your life, I will carry you in my heart through mine”
I know I say this every session but today, my heart is literally so full, so broken, so hopeful, so loved I just don’t know if I can carry it in my chest any more. Every now and then people come into your lives and you just know they will touch you in a way you’ve never been touched before. I first met this gorgeous family in their darkest hours…just days after welcoming their divine twin baby boys they were preparing to say goodbye to their littlest love, Ethan. You see I was Ethan’s nurse that day, and I stood by their side in the darkness as he took his last courageous breath. From that moment on, a little piece of my heart went with Ethan to heaven but a little piece stayed with his big brother Harrison. Over the next few months I did my best not to give secret snuggles to Harrison when I was supposed to be busy working, I often failed miserably at favouritism…sssssshhhh don’t tell all the other special babies! And I had the greatest honour of caring for Harrison in his last few days in the NICU after a courageous 84 day battle…stomach surgery, eye treatments, blood transfusions, brain surgery…literally every hurdle a little guy born at just 25 weeks and weighing a mere 800 grams could endure before we sent him home to his Mumma and Papa. But you see…this guy has plans…big plans…and he whispered in my ear one night that he was going to fight every battle no matter what we threw at him to live in honour of his tiny little brother Ethan. And he has done just that. Emma and Ben…you thanked me for teaching you to be parents to your boys…but honestly, I am the one who should be saying thank you…your little men have filled my heart in a way I never knew possible. Every little life that is lost in the NICU touches me, so many I could never possibly remember every name, every moment, every word spoken….but sometimes…there are some that sneak their way into your hearts forever. We never imagined today’s session would happen, there were so many obstacles, but it did, and I’m pretty sure we have Ethan to thank for bringing this all together. Thanks little guy.
How divine is this little bracelet Harrison is holding….little H and little E included…and filled with love.x. I adore this gorgeous blue knit blanket Harrison brought with him for his session today….and who doesn’t love a good pom pom beanie!
Both of the boys absolutely loved holding onto things…everything that came into contact they quickly grabbed it. I was going to sneak this bear under the blanket with him but he grabbed his arm straight away and I just knew this was the perfect shot…just two little bears hanging out for a nap! Mumma asked for a gorgeous gallery of neutrals and navy’s…just perfect for such a handsome little man!
Now Mumma didn’t want to be in any photo’s…something I hear all too often but I convinced her to capture this special shot with her two gorgeous boys snuggled together…it turned out more beautiful than I could ever dream of.
Well….then this happened. I begged her, I promised her she would never have this moment again. My heart hurt because I had said those words to her before when she held teeny tiny Ethan in her arms for the last time. Sometimes, life can be so unfair, but sometimes there is also beauty.
So much love for you Emma and Ben, and for the honour of caring for your beautiful boys Ethan and Harrison. The greatest gift.